The UNWELCOME News!

WORST EVER!
The unwelcome news that ruined my days. OMG! I could never imagine this will happen in my life. The most annoying person will be BACK! Damn. I don't know, should I thanked Penny for the news, or should I punch Bos for bringing him back.

Akudah mula terfikir untuk resign. At one time, I've tot the same bcoz of same reason. Becoz he annoyed me so damn, much! Aku tau tak baek terlalu menanam perasaan benci. Tapi... eeee sesungguhnya hanya Tuhan yang tau masalah hati aku ni. EEEE! Sakit hati tatau nak cakap. Terus terang, aku memang dah takde semangat nak kerja. Ikutkan hati, mungkin bodoh. I should just ignore him. Tapi dalam keadaan sesama kerja... boleh ke aku avoid dia? Dia dah la kaki kipas angin punya! Ciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssiii! But to many reasons, aku mungkin akan quit from this job jugak very soon. It wasn't that aku tak sayang company, aku sayang... lebih dari aku sayang company lama. Aku appreciate boss aku. Aku senang dengan ofismet aku, work surrounding. Cuma satu, satu je sebab... aku rasa aku pasti akan berhenti!

But before I really do, aku kena betul-betul fikir masak-masak. Sekurang-kurangnya, aku kena ada keje yang bleh tanggung hutang piutang aku. Hutang piutang yang begitu membebankan. Otherwise, aku keje taska?! Syok tak?! Ahahahaha....

Gilak lah! Aku nak kluar lunch. Nak tulis blog pun dah takde hati!

Ciow!

No Title

Believe me or not, I dont really have time to blog recently. Works... not so long list but long enough to drag me keep working on them from day to day. More, Ive started working as tuition tutor. Already 4 classes attended. Busy, not really. But life seems to have new routines. I work 5.5 days a week, as usual. Doing all administrating job. I go for tuition classes every Monday & Wednesday nights. Tutoring primary level kids. Every Friday, make a necessary MUST point to go back to accompany Mama at home. Weekends, the coming up is fully scheduled. Not due to any postponing except for emergency. Tapi dalam sibuk tak sibuk aku ne, sempat jugak aku fikir tentang hati. Recently, my so-called BF is too busy ith his works. Sampai aku terasa macam terabai gila-gila. So, untu memastikan diri tak terus terasa diabai, aku dah turunkan status dia as so-called SCANDAL indeed. Bosanlah layan lelaki ni. Nak, tanak pakai macam pakai baju je. Cis! Dan lagi... yang lagi aku tak pernah terfikirnya is... dalam sibuk kerja + risaukan Mama + carik jalan carik duit ne... hati aku tetiba meruntun-runtun merindui seseorang. Sannnngggggaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttt rindu. Tup-tup, dalam dok rindu tu ada pulak sorang kawan bertanya kat aku "Dia ilang sebab ko la ni.!" Eh mana ade! Aku menegakkan benang yang hampir basah. "Ko takmo rujuk balik ke dengan dia Ira?" Wat? Cemana dia boleh terlintas soalan macam tu di kala aku macam ni! Tapi tiba-tiba sore Mr.Presiden aku pulak hadir dalam kepala, "Korang memang baik, tapi laki korang yang tak jujur." Oh tidak! Aku telan air liur. Terpaksa lagi aku meminta hati agar surut dan terus melupakan dia. Tapi dalam keadaan macam ni, aku memang selalu ingat dia. Boleh kata, lebih daripada aku ingat kat so-called BF aku tu. Either my heart is lyin or not, aku sendiri tak pasti. Tapi yang peliknya, on last Friday, I've almost cry for him! Not for him, actually. Most probably for the sweet memories when we were together. Macam ada satu lakon layar atas wide screen depan mata aku, memainkan balik citer cinta aku ngan dia. Tempat yang kitorang pegi. How secure I was when I am with him. OMG! Aku sangat selesa dengan zon cinta aku itu! Demi Allah, dia tetap kekasih terbaik yang pernah singgah dalam hidup aku. Sayangnya............................................

Argh sudahlah. Dari aku terus teringat memori yang tak mungkin terulang lagi... baik aku sambung buat kerja-kerja mencari duit aku. Or tedo.... hurms best gak yg no.2 tu, dgn cuaca sebegini rupa nya. Kua kua kua. Okaylah... LOVE, I really miss you so much recently!

Blogging and How Does It Actually Help You?

Blogging.
Some people blog for other people to read his says.
Some other people blog to voice out their opinions.
Some blog for fun. Some blog for personal use.
Some blog for... for many many personal reasons that could never be listed here.

I do blogging also.
At first, I blogged at community webpages.
People read. And some of my writings had caused some bad effects.
I then blog to whisper my heart say to my loved one.
Till today, I still blog.
But for no reason. Only to blog.
As blogging is a trend. Modern hi-tech tren, maybe :)

But some how blogging helps alot.
Helping in its own ways that became reasons for people to keep on blogging.
It helps, mental cure.
You never realized how it works, but it does.

The Editor of one popular blog quoted...

"Malaysia has freedom of speech. But no freedom after speech."

I do agree with that. Speech of blogs. Speech of the people.
Somehow, it finally ended as no freedom after the speech was clearly delivered.
Mama said, transparency is a key of success.
But do the people really transparent about everything?
Normal human, NEVER do!

Same goes today. At this meantime.
Why did I chose to blog instead of packing my bag and punch out?!
Because I need to say something.
But I don't know how to. No! I know how. Just that.............

Oh, blogging is just to release my tense.
Blogging is to fulfill my time.
Blogging is what blogging does on its own.

Apa aku merepek? Maybe too much kerepek!

The Siblings

Aku tak tau apa aku dah buat.
But since the moment she cried, till the moment am writing this,
i can;t stop thinking of her.
Why does she cry?
What is she hiding from us?
What? What?

I can resist to know everything.
I can't pretend to be so cool about this.

I've called Makteh. No answer.
I called Kekek. She'll be home this weekends.
I asked Ampa, he asked me to come home.

I am not so sure did I make everyone so worried.
But I hope this may help her in her prayer.
I hope she'll be healed from anything she is hiding from us.

Ma, we'll be home as soon as possible.

Love you. Muah.

.She, Whom Always Be The One.

I always wanted her.
Kekek also, More, when comes to Taya.
The brothers also the same.
What more, when it is Ayah.

Isha & Danny, always Nanny's sweethearts.
Akim, is more liked her own son.
Aunties, Uncles... Nannies...
Everyone loves her.
Everybody needs her.

No one never care about her.

She is quite sickly, in this recent.
Laying on her bed. Unable to do routine house chores as usual.
The doctor said, she is getting better from the flu.
The specialist checked up said she's in great health.
Ayah took her to Darul Syifa'.

I called her on the next evening.
She sounded okay.
When it came to the question of her visit to Darul Syifa...
it turned to LONG SILENCE.
All I heard was only her sobbing right to my ears.

This is killing me. She never be so, before.

She refused to tell me the stories.
She refused to answer my questions.
All she said was only she'll pray.

I can't stand this.
I need to know.
I really need to know.
I've cried. Again and again.
I cry every time I remember her.

She called me this morning when I've planned not to.
She asked some favor to take care of my brothers.
This even killed me, quicker!

No! It is not what am I thinking of.
She cannot go anywhere.
She must be on my wedding. She must see all her grandchildren.
She cannot go anywhere.

Please Ya Allah. I beg for your help.
Please heal what ever sickness she has.
Please... please help us not to lose her at this early.

I love you so much, Mama. Always do.
We always, and always forever love you.

Duit dan Kehidupan

Duit. Penat aku mencari sebab dan punca untuk ia hadir dalam hidup aku. Sekarang ni, budget aku memang tigt gila. Bukan tak dapat gaji, bukan kena potong gaji. Tapi aku sendiri tak pasti mana perginya semua duit-duit aku tu. BOROS BERBELANJA? Mungkin salah satu sebab. HUTANG? I always hate credit cards! HOUSE RENTAL?! Kalau duduk dengan Mama pun, belum tentu aku tak hilang the portion of the same amount. Aku nak pinjam Mama, jauh sekali. Nak pinjam sapa? Nak mintak Bos, dia macam singa. Tapi aku gagah gak tulis note cinta atas meja dia. Luckily I am, Allah helps me alot at all time. May I will never forget Him in all my doings.

Semalam, aku kensel tengok Eli. Rush ada kematian. Might be his good friend. Or ex-girlfriend. or, what would I care so much~! Al-Fatihah untuk jenazah. Semoga sentiasa dicucuri rahmatNya dan digolong dalam mereka yang beriman soleh. On the way home, aku pun gatal-gatal belek HP. Teringat pulak kat Pusat Tuisyen Redha yang aku amek no tiponnya pagi masa naik bas. Without thinking further, I simply dial the number. Dan aku amat-amat bersyukur kepada Allah s.w.t sebab... Okay, macam tu we'll talk tonite. U will have English classes today. Will it be okay with you? Rerasanye ape jawapan aku?! Pastinya aku terus jawab ye/ Memang kebetulan yang amat kebetulan. Lagi sekali I thank Allah s.w.t for the big, great oppurtunity. Terfikir jugak, is it my fate to always be a teacher? Nyesal jugak kalau dikira-kira dulu aku tak amik teaching programs. Tuhla, sebok kejar glemer! Tapi bagus jugak. Life won;t be this tough if I always be on the right, best track.

Memang ada masalah siket dari segi transportation. Semalam pun aku terpaksa mintak tolong ngan Akak. Arine, pagi-pagi buta aku dah siap SMS Shalim. Sib baik dia sudi gak nak tolong. Sementara ni je, tengok macam mana nanti, aku kautimla dengan principal. Maybe busuk-busuk pun aku tibai gak beli Honda sebijik :D Ngehehehe Honda Cup :D Pengalaman mengajar? Oh I love to teach. Cuma aku tak well prepared. Yelah, aku call about to 6o'clock. And my class was on 8pm. Bas T332 oun macam biasa la. Time kita nak cepat, dia terhegeh-hegeh. Sampai je situ, aku terus dibagi satu kelas Year 1. My first class, and first student. Dia sorang je datang, another 2 were on MC. An hour was just very short for me. To another class, is Year 4 students. They were 9 of them, I guess. Senang jer sebenarnya mengajar diorang ni. English is a light subject. Moreover, they have good basic. So, today... I was assigned to another classes. For Maths subjects. Ahaks... tataulah cemane nanti nk jadik. Hentam sajalah~! The pay, Principal offers was quite awesome. Aku terus agree. So, kalau aku kena bersusah payah siket pun takpelah. If I need to ask favor from the ppl to send and fetch me on every classes, insya Allah aku bleh bayar derang siket. Yelah, commitment dan masa.

Anywhat, I am so sorry to Babe. Till now, she hasnt got her pay for last month. Tataulah agency dia tu. Dah berapa hb pun takmo release gaji. Aku nak bagi bantuan kewangan pun, aku sendiri baru dapat tadi. Tapi dapat je siket, Citibank dah buat love call. Hampeh! nak wat cemane, dah aku yang hutang diorang kan?! Sapa suroh postponed payments owk?! Berbalik kat citer Babe tadi, I know she is seriously needs money. To lend some of mine, memang aku takde kemampuan sudah. So apa yang aku boleh buat is to chase for the Director to pay her last months salary. Orang tua tu pun sekor lagi mangkuk yang sarat dengan masalah duit! Tak tahulah! Malas pulak aku nak melayan dia. Eh bukan malas layan Babe. Director aku yang bingai tu!

Sorrylah Babe. I really can; help you. Petang ni or latest 2mrw, I nak gamble bank in the RM to the TMNet reseller. Hope so, idea aku kali ni menjadik. Akak penah kata, once niat kita baik, Allah sentiasa akan bukak jalan. Aku janji... eh takmolah janji.. but Aku cuba sedaya upaya aku untuk berhenti berpoya-poya. Aku nak kerja keras. Aku mesti ada banyak duit untuk... untuk Raya, untuk bayar hutang MARA, untuk pay everything. Untuk modalkan Mama & Ayah pergi Haji lagi. Untuk aku mencapai misi aku, KAHWIN by next year. Which I really looking forward to it. Dengan siapa, don;t ask. Aku tak berani lagi nak cakap. Hati sekarang mungkin ada seseorang. Tapi, belum tentu dia bukan sekadar singgah berehat. Kan kan kan. Better to play safe.

Citer pulak pasal dia... aku terfikir jugak sesuatu. Aku rasa, dialah yang bagi aku semangat untuk hunt for money. Bukan sesebelum ni aku takmo money, tapi keazaman aku tak cukup kuat untuk itu. Bukanlah jugak sebab dia, aku memang chase for money. Tapi, sikit sebanyak, kesungguhan dia... kerja kuat siang malam (based on his stories laaah) aku segan pulak duduk berehat-rehat dengan kehidupan yang sedia ada. He does all out everything. So aku pun nak all out jugak Orang kata, masa susah bersama-sama. Mula dari bawah tu kan bahagia. Wahkahkahkahakah. Apekah aku sedang menyatakan di sini yang aku sedang bercinta?! Oh tidak! Aku pun tak pasti. Tak kesahlah siapa pun dia di hati aku, yang pasti.... dia sumber inspirasi aku sekarang. Kekasih terbaik aku dulu anak orang senang. Mewah. Dia takyah berusaha pun banyak duit. Tapi aku? Aku pun bangang pegi ikut style dia. Bijak la katakan~! So sekarang, depan mata nampak yang kuat bekerja. Best siket. harap-harap ini memang titik tolak kejayaan dan kekayaan aku di masa hadapan. Insya Allah. Doa-doalah bebanyak siket ye.

Okaylah. Jam dah pun pukul 1.15pm. nak keluar lunch, kenyang lagi. Nak gi Zuhur pun, tengah cuti-cuti Malaysia Barat. Jawabnya, buatlah kerja. Sesambil chatting dan prepare untuk kelas malam ni.

Till then. Thank you bloggie!

She might be waiting...

Eli, my good fren.
Sian Eli. She's looking forward to see me... to see us.



Tapi aku takde transport nak gi.
Mengharap orang............. pepaham jelah

Mintak tolong Ampa, dia penat baru balik banyak errands.
Mintak tolong dia, ada kematian pulak. Innalillah~
Mintak tolong sapa lagi boleh?

Mintak tolong Eli tunggu jelah nanti aku sampai.
Nanti yang tatau bila. Latest by Sunday.
Kalau dah terberanak, nak buat cemana.
Penat je aku usung camera. Kena pegi sesuatu tempat ni nampaknya.

Hurm. Sorry Eli. Lenkali aku amek lesen eik.
So next baby U, I tayah mintak tolong orang lagi.


Huwaaaaaaaaa how I wish to have permanent driver with license now!

Hati Yang Tidak Keruan

Blogging?


























































No idea.

A Survey from Friendster

Two things you do when you're bored.
1. Free Karaokeing
2. In-house dancing

Two names you go by.
Most of d ppl called me, Eyra.
My schoolmates prefer to call me Mus.

Two songs you love listening at the moment.
1. Kertas - Selamat Tinggal Kekasih Terbaik
2. Marketa XX - If You Want Me

Two things you are wearing right now.
Luckily my office attire is always to be suka-suka concept.
A Chics Avenue Blue Jeans with a Colorful Stripes Shirt

Two things that happened this week.
1. Dating Someone
2. Calculating Shortage of Pocket Money

Two things you did last night.
1. Thinking of ways to generate money
2. Supper with Kim & Shalim

Two things you wish more people know about you.
That I am a good girl & a very well committed person.

Two things you want in a relationship.
Sincerity & Transparency

Two of your favourite things to do.
Typing & Chit chatting

Two things you want badly at the moment.
1. Part time job
2. Instant CASH money

Two pets you had/have.
Kelisa & a Cat called Tamak. Both died already.

Two things you ate today.
Biscuits & Roti Canai

Two people you last talked to.
Anson & Nick Chang, as it always be during office hours.

Two things you'll be doing tomorrow.
Registering Celcom lines & go to office, normal routine.

Two places you want to go.
1. PD, very soon this August
2. MOCCA Concert in August

Two things you want to do before you die.
Marrying my Mr. Right & having atleast pair of kids of my own generation!

It's Really Time To Generate More Money?

Sakitnya bila duit ngam-ngam je. Duit gaji, mana dah pergi pun aku tak tau. teringin nak mula bisnes, tapi aku lebih suka memfoya-foyakan duit aku waktu ada duit. Bila takde duit, mulalah tergali-gali purse nak carik modal. Gila! Aku sendiri pun terasa aku gila. Aku nak meniaga... tapi aku tak ada modal. Aku nak tawar service, tapi aku tak cukup kesungguhan. Macam mana ni?! Tapi aku nak duit lebih!!! Plus, aku nak kumpul duit. Mission aku ialah untuk kahwin, next year. Insya Allah. Calon? Belum ada pun calon. Cuma aku pasang cita-cita. Dah due pun nanti. By next year, I'll reach 26 years old. Dah tua ma! Kalau lambat-lambat lagi nanti, bila pulak aku nak dapat anak. Huish. Kalau boleh skip kahwin and all the ceremonies.. all I wanted is only kids. really looking forward to have my own kids! Tapi pucuk pangkalnya sekarang ialah....

MACAM MANA AKU NAK BUAT DUIT BERANAKKAN DUIT?

Aku banyak info. Aku jugak banyak sign-up untuk part time jobs ni. Tapi tak ada lagi yang mengena. Ada satu job ne, aku nak kena pakai modal. Yang satu ni, nak kena well marketing. Yang lagi satu pulak, nak kena study habis-habis dulu. Nak jual produk bukan senang. Aku kena bebetul study benda tu. Aku jugak mesti guna and suka the products and the brand. Hurms... tambah lagi, aku takde partner yang bebetul komited untuk push aku. Aku ada plan ngan Babe nak buat design & typing services... tapi peralatan perang plak tak cukup. Nak cekup printer kat rumah tu, dari sehari ke sehari aku terlupa. Nak buat photography, batasan aku transportation. Camera pun belum cukup canggih. Entahlah. Aku pun runsing.

Kawan aku yang sorang ni pulak, rajin gila buat kerja. Dia bukan keje full time macam aku. Tapi I bet, income dia boleh lebih banyak dari aku. Cuma dia perlu roll duit-duit dia yang banyak tu je. Hurms... dia kot sumber inspirasi aku nak bekerja keras carik duit. Aku sakit jiwa la tak ada duit. Aku terfikir gak nak buat tutoring session macam kat Selayang dulu. Tapi tengok attitude budak-budak sini buat aku gerun. Barang-barang dalam rumah tu pun aku bersusah payah nak kumpul. Kang tiba-tiba.... glups~~~~~~~~~~ Pastu aku nak buat ape eik sekarang? Okeh nekad.


Aku mesti carik modal.

1. Sign up jadik reseller TMNet tu. Makna nya aku perlu RM50 for registration + another RM20 untuk marketing.

2. Jadi agen produk NUTRI-METICS :: makna nya aku kena ada webpage marketing?! Yer, aku harus buat yang free dulu. Huahuahua.

3. Buat MLM support Mama & Ayah. Walaupun aku tak kenan sgt MLM ni, dan aku dah pernah protes benda ni... tapi buat ape aku ikutkan hati kalau ni boleh bagi aku pocket money kan?! At least, tambang perjalanan pegi balik ofis.

4. Join bisnes kerepek ngan Makteh. Hurms ini best gak. Sambil-sambil makan :p

So sekarang.. all I have to develop is.... MY SILL POWER AND COMMITMENT!

Please pray for me. Sebab kalau benda ni berjalan seperti yang aku plan... korang pun boleh tumpang 2 3 kaki :D

Adios lah! Bos dah balik.

Sambungan Cerita Saspen...

Sambungan cerita ini ditaip semasa aku sudah bertenang sedikit....

.....So after aku nampak kelibat Anson dilepaskan... aku pusing untuk turun. Aku nampak dia signal dia ok. Walaupun muke dia pucat lesi time tu macam cina takde darah. Aku terus turun update kat Tina. Tak lama, Boss pun sampai and terus naek tingkat atas. Tak lama gak lagi... Haa tu police dah sampai! Akhirnya... selepas hostage dilepaskan, baru sampai? Chait! Aku ngan Tina pun terus lambai-lambai kat polis. Polis Malaysia.... nak parking pun takes time. Nak keluar keta pun lagi satu hal.


Ape hal ni cik? Aku pun sesambil perli terus bercerita... Cik, kawan saya tu ntahnya dah kena tikam pun. Dah dengar report aku, dia plak pi buat report. Standby back up kot. 2 Police officers then climbed up to the office. Dengan sebilah pistol apetah, mereka reconfirmed... Berapa ramai yang kat atas? Aku pun tunjuk jari je, 1 je. Beberapa minit tu, polis tak gak keluar. Riuh pun takdek, so aku curik-curik naik atas. Yang aku nampak... he crazy guys is already arrested with hand-cuff. Saksi-saksi kejadian pun berbincanglah bla bla bla. AKu turun lagik, tunggu ngan Tina ngan Saiful. jengah je pintu tangga, I saw the crazy guy was guided to the police car. Memang nampak macam dah okay, tapi cuak gak aku... Aku curik-curik snapped some shots.





Mekasey cik... tu je ayat terakhir aku untuk pak polisi. Sumpah! Aku punya jantung baru je datang balik lepas tengok mangkuk tu masuk kereta. Aku pun terus lari naek atas. Tina terpa Nick... aku terus cek Anson. Anson! Sorry... Sorry sangat. Sakit ke? Sian u... :( Aku terus amek semua kerja-kerja yang kitorang buat sesama. Anson looked very cool. Dia memang seorang playboya yang cool~! Tapi leher dia berbirat gak la..lebam merah-merah siket. Derang pun then pergi report polis...

Aku overheard from the conversation between Boss and the Myanmar officers, Dia memang ada sikit gila. Kadang-kadang aa. dia punya angin datang. Bos tepuk bahu Anson, Haiyaa... this is not d first time ma! Dulu Ipoh sana pun sama jugak... Aku terdiam. Oh, kenapa aku tak tau cerita itu??

Pesan Boss kat semua orang, Next time when unexpected things happen like this, you, the girls, mesti kasi selamat you oll dulu punya. Mana U boleh lari, keluar... lari! Kalau pintu, pintu la. Kalau perlu terjun dari tingkap bilik I, go on! And we laughed. Husih gilak kan? Itu pakai pintu with secutiry lock tu. Kalau pintu takde lock... agaknya dah lama dah................ nauzubillah!

Perasaan aku kat Anson sangat bersalah. Kat Tina, aku dengar kata dia terasa nak demam dah, terkejut. Syukur aku agak kuat semangat...



Tapi malam, bila sampai rumah, I got missed calls. Akhirnya aku pun return the calls. Aku call2 tak angkat... baru nak taip SMS dia dah call balik.

Aiyoo sayang. Apa cerita? U tengok itu pisau, U sudah cbut masuk bilik Bos! U memang tak sayang I la...!
Erk... gitu pulak. Dia called semata-mata nak aku soothed his ear. Ahaks. Sorry lah sayang. Sayang U siap mnangis untuk U.. kitakan secret relationship, I kenala pretend cool. Btw, I pun risau jugak pasal U. Cuma I tau U pandai siket. Sebab tu lah U dah lompat tingkap bilik tu keluar.

Apapun, I am so thankful that everyone is safe. Hope so, semua orang boleh tedo dengan nyenyak. To the hostages... korang memang gempak.. cool abis~!

To Boss.... apa kata kita.... tukar bisnes core :p

Babe, bahaya nya keje U ni. Dulu orang mati, ni orang mengamuk. Macam bahaya sangat, taknak tukar keje ke? How caring Babe is to me. Thank Babe. Tapi aku suka gak pengalaman pelik-pelik ni. Kurang-kurang, takde la bosan je. Memang I akan kekal jadi Dewa Pintu 15A selagi diriku diingini di situ... Insya Allah.

Hilang jantung.... (News fresh from the heart)

Astagfirullah. Tak pernah aku terfikir nak berdepan situasi macam ni. Bagi aku intro dulu.

Aku kerja dengan satu agensi pekerjaan. Kerja kitorang, import foreign workers to work in Malaysia. Antara penyumbang kepada rungutan orang ramai, but we make money from it. Nak jadi cerita yang dipendekkan... tadi, beberapa minit yang lalu (aku tulis blog pun sebab aku dah ilang nerve and really wanted to talk to someone). Baru je habis lunch. Aku masuk lambat, sebab beli burger utk Rockson Seng. Masa aku nak naik, I saw this one Myanmar guy at the entrance. Dalam hati aku berdetik... Dah berapa kali hantar keje, pun balik lagi... Mengade sunggoh! Aku takde la nak sengih ke apa ke, terus naik atas dan sambung keje.

Tiba-tiba... ting tong. Budak Bangla yang kitorang assigned as Hostel Keeper rushed nak masuk. Dia terus terpa Nick. Bos.. itu budak Myanmar kasi pukul sama saya! Dia pukul.. Aku masa tu tengah buat kerja kat meja Anson. He wrote, I do the copying. Tak berapa lama, bunyi lagi bell itu. Tengok sapa... kata Anson kat aku yang tengah berdiri. Takde orang pun, hantu kot. Aku sengih and sambung keje. Memang aku jengah, no one was infront of the door. Tak aku sedari, tiba-tiba je pintu dah terbukak dan......................

"Okay..okay... I call now! i call now!" Sore Anson terketaq-ketaq. Aku pandang sekilas dan terlopong. Hilang jantung aku waktu tu. Anson dah tersandar kat dinding bilik Mr Director dengan pisau terhunus kat leher. Ya Allah, budak Myanmar tu dah mengamuk! Aku tak pikir panjang, aku tengok yang kat luar semua terlopong. Nampak Alan je yang ade potensi. Aku terus lari masuk bilik Bos panggil Alan. Alan pun keluar. Aku locked up myself in the room. Keadaan sangat genting. Nafas aku memang dah hilang.

Dia bawak Anson masuk bilik tengah. Nick was also in d room. Tina was on the next door. The crazy guy locked the room's door. Pisau tu memangla kontot, but it ws really at Anson's. Okay, okay. I dial now. I dial now. Nick capai tepon and terus dial. Memang panik. Anson.. sangat kasihan. Aku cepat-cepat jerit tina soh masuk bilik. The safest place in the room. Sibbaik dia bawak henset. Dgn bijaknya, aku terus soh call polis.



Ape number? 999.. eh no. 911. Eh no, no. 991.

And for the 1st time in my life, aku buat report polis. Menggelabah tak hingat, nak nangis. panik. Cuak. Semua pun ada. Tuhan je yang tahu perasaan aku. Banyak tanya pulak pak polisi ni. Habis call, aku tengok crazy guy bagi Anson duduk. Nick dah melompat keluar. Yang lelain mundar-mandir. Saiful, budak Bangla tu pun tatau nak buat apa. Dia lagi la kecik. Nick was on the phone with the Myanmar agent. He passed the phone to the crazy guy. Aku tatau apa derang cakap. Tina called Boss. Boss soh amek gambar. Bijaksana si Rockson terus record video. Tapi sayang, tak berapa panik gambar tu. But enough to be as a proof.

Alan tanya, dah call polis belum? Steven terus soh call lagi. Tina dah menangis, panik gila. Aku punya ketaq, aku cuba calm down myself. Memang kelam kabut. Dia pegang pisau kat tangan. Dia cakap sorry kat Anson, dalam bahasa isyarat. Cerita waktu ni, lebih kurang macam itik cakap ngan ayam. the crazy guy understands nothing we said. Nor Malay, nor English, nor Chinese. Lepas dia puas hati cakap ngan Myanmar embassy officers, dia soh semua orang keluar dari ofis. Tapi Anson, tetap dalam genggaman. Dia soh Nick stay. Kitorang terpaksa ikut. Memang aku kalau boleh nak jadi heroin waktu tu. Nak je aku tukar jadik Catwoman ke... Power Rangers ke...

Aku turun, Tina turun, Steven, Rockson, Saiful. Alan stay luar pintu. Polis tak nampak batang hidung lagi. Aku call polis lagi skali. Memang kami dah tatau apa jadik kat atas. Tapi aku yakin, Anson & Nick are safe. A Myanmar officer came then. He talked to the crazy worker. Cik... cik cepat. Pekerja saya dah nak kena tikam dah tu. Dah dua kali saya call ni. Aku curik-curik naik atas. Hati-hati. Dalam poket dia ada pisau. Dia simpan. Akhirnya, Anson was released. Lega hati aku. Tapi keadaan not safe enough.



Oh adik aku dah sampai. Nak amik aku balik tengok Mama.
Nanti aku sambung . Siap upload gambar sekali.

Calos~ saje tinggal kasik saspen.

O M M A

Mama dah p doctor smalam. Kencing kotor and maybe dah lama. Tu yang lama effect kot. She baring je, bangun solat or makan mengalas perut je… Atok dari hari yang tido sana xnak balik lagi kerumah I risau sungguh dia kat mama, yeler anak dia kan. I pun risau lagikan dia.. I sampai je rumah, she terus kata mama baring je, mcm tak larat. Memang mama kata she mcm xde energy langsong. So I pun kena gak lah tido kat umah u…

Makteh, from her email this morning.

Omma...
Mama isn't so well in health recently. Since last week. She refused to eat. That's Mama... every time she fell sick. She just laid on bed, waking up for Solat n have some pengalas perut. At first I tot it just a normal fever, as she was too tired doing all the common house chores. I've visisted her last weekend. She seemed getting better. It was a short dinner, and I got back to Ampang. Day after, Makteh called me. Ur mom is really sick. She refused to see the doctor. Yesterday, Atok said she just laid on bed all day long. Pujuk dia... to see the doc. So, I did. And Mama did see the doc, finally.

Tapi hati tak senang. I wish I could be by her side, all the moments. So I've decided to stay back in Selayang for this meanwhile. Packed from Ampang to office, straight away to hometown afterwards. Maybe Ampa will do the picking me up since I got 2 big bags with me. Macam nak lari dari rumah!

I sangat risau. I ada terfikir things that I wish will not be so early to be faced out. I don't wanna lose her. Never. How on earth could I ever live without her?! Nauzubillah. Minta dipanjangkan umur Mama & Ayah.

Ma... Ma tunggu I balik this evening okay. We'll have dinner together. I'll cook for you if that is what you want. Mama jangan pergi mana-mana tau. I love you, Mama.

ADDICTION : If You Want Me

So addicted to this haunted song. Huhuhuhuhu!

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can’t tell dreams from truth
For it’s been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonely and the distance calls its only silence
I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

Are you really sure that you believe me
When others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
You know I really try
To be a better one to satisfy you for you’re everything to me
And I do what you ask me
If you let me be free

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

I wish I could be there for everyone~

Just received call from Makteh. I heard some bad news... not really bad. But miserable enough to put me in worries. Everyone is so sick. Last Sunday, I visited Mama at home. She looked so pale, not eating as much as before. She even looked thinner. Ma, sorry I just cannot stay home with you. Also worried about my 2 little babies, Icha & Danny. Makteh told me that Danny was 'fit' because of too high temperature. Ya Allah, please save all my loves. Kekek & Nana also sick. Everyone is so sick.

I wish I can be there for everyone...
I wish Icha can be warmth in my hugs.
I wish Danny can smile showing his row of teeth back soon.
I wish Mama will recover very much soon.
Also Kekek. And Nana.

And not to forget, my long distance lil sister, Asala.
I wish I could also be there for her. She cooked her own porridge eventho she is so sick.
OMG, how I wish I could please everyone.

Lalink is also not very well. He must be quite tired recently. Too hard working.
Babe, she just recovered. Hope not to stuck into any rain pour.
Akak, she is in deep mental illness.
Fara & Adam are also not feeling well. Adam, you just so cute.

Hurms.... kalau lah aku mampu untuk ada di sisi semua orang..............................

Apekah Hati Sudah Mula Terikat? Dan Terpikat?

Hurms... macam tak percaya je dengan diri sendiri. Dahla aku yang pujuk diri, pastu mudah-mudah je aku nak jumpa dia balik. Apa gilak ka sudah aku ini?! Oh ngerinya untuk mengakui aku mungkin sudah terpikat? Atau terikat? Aku rasa this relationship is too early, too much young. Tapi, apa yang aku rasa bila dengan dia, isn't really young. It's liked we get used to each other. Eventho my feeling is almost plain~~~! He touched my hands, holding each other and walking to the restaurant! God bless me, please! I was quite a shock, but not an electric shock as what I always felt when some other else do the same. Nak kate takde perasaan, aku okay je. Lain... sangat lain. Dulu masa ngan Akim, aku terasa sangat disayangi. Masa ngan Aan, aku terasa dia pegang aku tak kasik lari. Ngan Shy.. urm terase gah je kot. Haha. Ngan Eddy budak navy tu... aku terasa oh, he is so gentleman!... Masa ngan Man.. aku terasa macam... liked flying in the air, so secure that will never fall down.

But none with him... yet~!

Am I so heartless now? Or am I playing so safe? Watever it is... aku pun tak sure. Untuk akui aku dah jatuh cinta, memang jauh sekali. Untuk aku akui aku rindu? Pun aku belum pasti.... Mungkin dia memang untuk aku berkawan... kawan yang setia.... kawan yang akan menggembirakan aku. But will he accept this?

Hakikatnya, aku harus mencuba. Bak kate Babe & Kim... aku mesti cuba. Kalau dia memang jodoh... ngamla. Boleh aku cepatkan pencapaian mission aku untuk kawin next year~! Kan kan kan. Watever~~~~~~~~~~~`

Dahlah... ari-ari nak cerita pasal dia. Malas sudah. Noktah banyak-banyak kali (.........................)

Lelaki tetap lelaki...

Lelaki tetap lelaki.
Janji lelaki, tak boleh beli.
Lelaki tetap lelaki.
Terlalu sukar nak katakan sorry.
Lelaki tetap lelaki.
Kita dah merajuk, dia buat tak reti.
Lelaki tetap lelaki...
Bila bagi hint, baru terhegeh-hegeh nak sorry ulang kali.

Apa punya lelaki la...
Lelaki tetap lelaki.
Lelaki dan janji.
Lelaki dan sorry.

Cerita yang sama berulang kali.

Memang orang kata... bila kita buat LOVE upgrading...
mesti system akan bertambah slow.

Tapi, aku tetap jugak suka bagi peluang kat lelaki.
Sebab, mungkin dah lali.
Atau memang terpaksa membiasakan diri.

Apapun, sorry pi naek lorry laaa! Mencikss!

Life deserves to gamble

Ha ha ha. Kelakar kan? Akhirnya aku kuar gak date! Yesh ! Yesh ! Terkuar juga aku dari dipenjara janji. Huahuahauahauha. Apepun, he'll just a friend. Confirm sampai bebila pun, he'll be a friend.

Posting dated 5th June, 2008

Kerja gila!
Aku kata kawan je sampai bebila. Tapi baru je sebulan kawan... aku dah kuar brape kali?! Gilak! Siap ade plan nak gi tgk movie sesama tu. Tapi serius shit to the beat, aku sangat sengkek. Malas betul aku nak keluar. Malu la... bukan malu nak kuar ngan dia. Takkan nak pinjam sen Akak pastu keluar dating kot?! Apekah!!! Tapi kalau kawan mesti aku selambe je kan?! Eeee tapi sangat malas la. Not in d mood. Hurmss... cemane nak cakap kat dia kensel plan eik. Aku ingat nak berkubang je kat Ampang ni. Jimat dan selamat. Kemas rumah, buat keje. Kalau aku siap keje Director bagi, aku bleh dapat extra RM200 tau. Sonang-sonang! Tapi cemana aku nak cakap kat dia ni.... hurms.

Dia benci penipu.
Kalau kensel plan, apakah namanya menipu? Takkan? Dari aku cakap last minutes aku kensel baik aku cakap sekarang kan?! Tapi kalau dia... hurms. Gamble la. Life deserves to gamble. Kalau aku balik tengok Mama pun okay jugak kan. Hurms... pk pk.
Aku nak gi mandi la kejap. Kang akak nak ajak gi Canteen Day SMK Kosas, nak tgk budak-budak hampeh ne kat skolah derang. Hurms... pikir... pikir.... pikir....

Lagu Untuk Kekasih Terbaik... Dalam Koleksi :)

Katakan ini hanya…hanyalah mimpi …
Yang seharusnya tak kau katakan
Bagaikan petir… disiang hari
Menghangguskan aku

Selamat tinggal kekasih..
Selamat tinggal sayangku..
Kasih terbaik yang pernah singgah dihatiku…

Jangan pernah kembali.. duhai sayangku…
Jikalau aku selalu.. menghambat langkahmu
Semua kulakukan... karena sayangku
Ternyata kau salah menilai…yeah……

Selamat tinggal kekasih….
Selamat tinggal sayangku…..
Kekasih terbaik yang pernah singgah dihatiku

Jangan pernah kembali… Jangan pernah kesini..
Kekasih terbaik yang pernah singgah dihatiku…..

Lagu ni dah lama gak kot. Tapi baru 2 3 bulan kebelakangan ni aku dengar, dan fall in love with this song. It's kinda catchy. Love the lyrics, love the song, love the meaning it carries.... and love the feelings it gave me every time I am listening to it. To be frank, there's always one beautiful name in my head that really sync to it. So, this very early morning, while cuti-cuti buat laundry... I personally dedicate this song to him. My best ex-boyfriend ever :) Wish for him to read this and sing this song and record it and send to my inbox. But why shall he do so for me whom no more anything for him.. except missing the sweet memories.

OMG! Dia ni memang berhantu la. Guess what????? My playlist jumped to his recorded song! Huish. Sore dia ni memang tokleh tahan. Dulu tetiap kali aku dengar.. aku mesti tangkap cintan. Lepas clashed, mesti la tangkap leleh. Sekarang... baru aku appreciate how great his voice is. Mesti susah aku nak dapat BF bersore sesedap dia... sobsobsob. Rock star ma.... cita-cita tu! Takpela... dapat merasa pu dah kira bersyukur kan?!

This last few weekends... selalu je lepak dengan Kim. Dan selalu gakla kenkadang nama dia muncul kat bibir Kim. Membuatkan aku seperti merindu-rindu.... muahahahahahah gelenyar~! Tapi bukan aku.... kan kan kan?! Lagu putus chenta tu... semalam lepak karaoke box ngan Akak, Ramzi ngan Manje, aku bantailah nyanyi lagu tu. Huduh! Babe tarak, balik Putrajaya. Tapi bolehla sempena memperingati kekasih hati yang terbaik. Terang-terang jelah cakap... memang dia the best. Tapi mungkin memang bukan jodoh kot kan?! Sekejap gila relationship kitorang. Mungkin aku yang tak reti nak bercinta lelama kot! Huahuahauahuahauaha... Tapi serius wa cakap... memang dia la best BF ever. Huish kalau la dia baca, mesti kembang kempis kan. Takpun dia mesti terdetik kat hati...Aku dah kata aku ne memang orang baik, kau je yang sebok dengan ego kau tu.... Sebab selalu dia cakap macam tu masa kitorang kat ambang clash. Ambang clash? Clash ntah kali ke berapa ntah. Kenapa nak ingat dia ni lagi? Sebab kan.. dia ada terlalu banyak value2 lelaki idaman hati aku. Saaaangggggaaatttt banyak! Tapi itulah tu... dah bawak jumpa Mama & Ayah pun tak sangku jugak. Mata kail tak pasang elok-elok kot. Miahahahahaha.

Sudahla. Dia tengah tedo aku dok sebut-sebut. Kang terjaga, sian dia plak. Nak sambung laundry~

Ungkapan R I N D U Yang Merunsingkan

Jiwang tak title posting? Maut punye saiko jiwang~! Muahahahahahaha.... serabut + runsing + hati tak tenang. Semuanya sebab perkataan rindu.. istilah rindu. Glups... craziness~!!

I dated him again. Him, whom I met previously before the vacation trip. Him who suddenly popped up in my life. We've met for dinner again, and again and was planned to another dinner, again. He never admitted he started to M I S S me. Furthermore I am~! Never to admit at this early. But somehow, MAYBE we do! I am not so sure what is our status now... but what I feel about him, is his sincerity. I just can't simply ignore it. Yet I also can't even accept it, keep trying puts me in guilt. Wasn't about me still in the old days shadows. Wasn't also about me don't want to get involved in serious relationship. Just that.... I am not that ready for another LOVE commitment. I talked to Ramzi. He saw the guy I've been dating out. He asked me to tie on something. Some further relationship. "...Tokley Zi... aku terasa dia baik.. n sincere... Tapi aku tak boleh la.... tak boleh lagi kot~!" "...Come on! Ko kata nak steady BF. Dah ada depan mata, kau pulak tak nak... takut?!" "...MAYBE, n most probably yes..."

He saw me stepping out from the car. After not seeing him for quite a while... that was the moment we did. But in an unfortunate situation. He stared, and just went in into the house. While then, his back to his seat with another friend. I was busy talking to mates at that moment. Somehow, am waiting for him to call out my name, or waving at me, or simply smile. But, NONE. I walked to his seating and sat on the car bonnet, opposite to him. "... tanak tego pun?? tak rindu eik...." He must be soooooooooo shy at that moment. More, beside his friend. Good friend. Huhuhu. "...no lah, penat la. Penat kerja, penat keluar tadi..............." Long silent, and continued with a sweet phrase...
"... tapi rindu tu ade la...." Huhuhu... frank, cute statement. As cute as he is, ever. His words kept me in smile all nite long while did some shopping at Downtown Setapak. So, as a present for soothing my ears that nite, I bought him a pair of slippers. not a glass slipper, just a simple one. but 100% not for shuffling purposes~!

Lagi kata rindu yang terpaut di telinga recently. But this one puts me in MISERABLE feelings.
He is an UNCLE working with my boss. In easy words, my boss' colleague. I treated him as another new office colleagues at first. But he changed to an extra extreme approach that scare me to death, you know!!! A crazy old guy! He invited me for an outing. I refused with reasons. He hit anither trial. Same again, I created another reason. He called, I did not want to listen. I committed finally to meet him, one of these days. But it dragged me in a more miserable days. I kept on thinking on how to refuse again. He called, this one evening.
"... So I'll see you then later. I miss you so much, you know?!... Take care then." What the hell was that???????????? That's really killing me~! I have to do something. really have to. So, I woke up one cozy morning, with all my strength I typed him a SMS. Saying all my guilts. I really to stop him. He called. I di not pick up. He called the office line. They said I was in ladies. Few minutes later, he came over the office. OMG! This is so scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept myself busy. Doing this and that. And he finally went out with a bye greeting. Puhhh lega ma~! Sumpah aku cuak macam nak mati!

"...Sayang, saya rindu awak la. Takkan marah lagi kot?..."
Am not that angry at you. But i started to hate you again. This kind of man really disturb me and my life. Hoping for me with feathers of hope, but never look for ways to keep me in views. Bodoh is the best word to explain everything. I don;t want to write about him. It'll just put me in anger of fire!

No time for you. You're GF is my colleague.
We can always be friends. Good friends. I'll call you when I am missing you. "...You must promise you will. Cuase you are always be part of me...sayang." Huh! Yes to lips. Never in heart! You are not mine, young man! Never wanted you to be mine.

Hurms... RINDU, MISSING YOU.
Two different words which carry the same crazy meaning.
I am not interested to it. So I will ignore it. As how I am ignoring them also.

IGNORING THESE STORIES.
Same old reasons to tie on no commitment at all~!
I better play safe, nowadays.

Aite aite?! Time for lunch. Gtg~!