Miss the Missing

I woke up late.
Still, managed to catch the feeder bus.
I felt so empty.
It's Saturday morning,
and all I am carried on my shoulders,
was only my big handbag.

I reached Ampang train station.
I lost interest to work today.
But I still have to work... work for money.

Money to buy a replacement.
No, not buying another!
Else, I'll loose one after another.
It is sick.
Sick of counting the loss amount.


Oooh shit!
How I wish this would not happen to me!

...1....2.....3......puffff~ GONE!

Inhale............ exhale. Inhale deeper.......... exhale slower. Yoga!

In seconds, everything has gone. No no no. Wasn't really in secs. About hour. An hour. A night. OMG! I wish I am typing on my lappie now. While transferring photos from my camera memory.

Sara cried when I was just arrived home. She is so guilty. But I don't blame her at all. Nothing, and for no reason I should. At the front door, Mama was waiting with her big lovely hug. She whispered "you are having a tough life, nak." And her words touched my deep heart. I walked to roomie. Our room, the daughters. It remains the same, as Sara had cleaned it up. Staring at the right corner, I felt the missing view. I never ask it to drop down. But it did.

Liked every efforts of mine has blown away. My precious, are no more belong to my property. Counting the days of playing with the lappie, and snapping fun photos with the cammie... I knew it's a faith. A faith that I could never has a change to refuse.

We had a brunch session at dining hall. Mama, Sara and Ampa. Awez, he's black-out in Ampa's roomie. After seeing his room was 'umpil' (quoting the police report's word... tingkap bilik diumpil ) kehkehkeh he's liked so thankful, I know. At least, it wasn't his school stuffs. But he spreaded the news like spora is being blown by the wind. Warning the team, incase you guys seeing someone on business deals.

Aku tatau kenapa. Memang macam satu takdir yang sangat perit. Jerih perih aku nak dapatkan sesuatu yang memang hak aku. Dan apa yang aku impi, tetap aku perolehi. Cuma, ia bersifat sementara. Flahsing back the old days. I owned my gold jewelleries when I was 5. I walked with Ayah at pasar malam at one night. All of sudden, I could only remember that my necklace was robbed. Another case happened when I was teen, about 15. Walking alone at MARA building, I was approached by two guys, introducing themselves as Abang's old friends. It's a long story where it ended up with me LENDING them all my gold jewelleries. Gotch!

When comes to gadgets, I keep on losing one by one of mine. Started with a CPU I bought in MMU on my 2nd Year. It was upgraded to the best performance, at that time only la... with thousands of songs, videos, movies, memories.. and more, more of my school stuffs... it was stolen at my office - where only mine out of 6 PC sets were there. Suspected, internal crime! I then lost a phone, I bought before quitting MMU. This one, due to my careless. It dropped out from my pocket and the moment I returned, it was already nowhere. I bought a new one, same brand, upgrading the model. Not very months, I lost it at my own office desk. Suspected, supplier' staff.

And yesterday, another bad dream of my life. I lost both, my notebook and my camera. The saddest part is when I still need to pay them, both, as it was under installments. Total lost till date.... RM8050.00 for gadgets only.

Now, am sitting here calculating the future days. How could I own a mobile car if this keep on happening. "Semua yang jadi ni Kak Ira, ada hikmah dia. Tuhan bebetul nak uji kita, sabar kita. Dia nak kita betul-betul redha dengan apa yang terjadi... mungin saat tu kita bebetul dekat dengan-Nya."

She is really a good sister. And so do, Ampa & Kekek. They accompanied me going out to release my tense in Midvalley. Also, thankful to Babe, whom really care about me. More to Sayang, for calling me at the moment I really needed someone.. it really shows how much you care about me eventhough I keep on ignoring you recently.

And all I have to say here................................. is nothing.

H A T E

I started to hate everything.
EVERYTHING!

.Puting Beliung.

Angin taufan seperti sepoi-sepoi bahasa terkena tempiasnya.
Awan gelap bagai menyelubungi hari ini.
Oh betapa aku tersiksa melihat 'ia'?!

Aku tak pernah berniat nak membenci.
Apetah lagi untuk menghina, mencaci. Bukan lumrah aku.
Tapi.................



Bila keadaan mendesak, meruntun jiwa aku untuk bagai ingin membunuh.
bagai melihat 'ia' memanggil, menyeru...
"Bunuhlah aku kalau kau mahu gembira...."
Tapi aku masih ada peri manusia, dan aku masih normal seperti biasa.
Cuma kehadiran 'ia' kembali ke opis ne menjadikan..................















Aku dimarahi Bos bertubi-tubi.
Very early in the morning aku dah kena tembak berdas-das.
Satu kerja yang mudah dikerjakan oleh 4 orang...
dan menjadi bagaikan sampah.
And it ended up with a fight. Small fight that created anger from both sides.


Haish... I hate that 'IA'!

: Lagu Saya Suka Sekarang :

Song 1:
The Scripts - The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not...broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
Hmmmm

and maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving... I'm not moving.

I'm not moving... I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move.

Song 2:
Taylor Swift - Teardrops On My guitar

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I need everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's just so funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

.Drown. Flirt. Escape. Helpless.

I tought i've reached the end.
Yet, the fact is I am not.

I don't wanna get drowning.
I refused to flirt with him.
Am trying to find route of escapism.


Yet, I am helpless.
It went worst when she isn't around.
He's acting like so unpredictable.
I am scared to get caught!

Please! Please! Please!
Release me... before I tighten your heart belt to mine.

"Unsettled Project"

I woke up early in the morning.
It was still dark outside the window.
I took my bath, and played with lappie.
7 o'clock. Time to move.
I reached train. Putra LRT once again, for this week.
The line was long, extra than yesterday.
It's the 3rd one, and I got my space inside.
Ever stayed in a can of sardine?
I was only a small piece of sardine that tore apart from the major body.
OMG! Because am not so tall, I got to stand under 'armpits'.
The smells were nice at first. Yet, after many minutes...
the smells became crap!

Feel liked vomiting out. Rush to the ladies and get some air.
Continue the journey to office. A bit more to 9.
It's ringing phone's day.
Got list of people to call, to get updates and case follow-ups.
Stucked with some stories.
I got scolded. Again, and again. One after another.

The peak, a Malay guy calling for Mr Director.
That wasnt the first time But he really put me in fire.
I got anger. And rose my voice.
Sir, if you dont wanna give any information means that you dont count on me.
If so, how can I help you?
He refused his faults and kept arguing me.
Okay, if so. Then you can find Mr Director on your own.
We have no time to entertain such rude person as you are.
I hang up.

Another story was about medical check-ups.
The stupid Doctor offered home services.
But he put us in miserable hours.
I get scolded by all agents. Cause everything in house will end up on me.
If only I got high blood or heart attack................ I must have waving good bye world!

I punched out on the dot.
Ringing home to check on my two big babies.
You must be surprised.... Akim and Isha unplugged all cables of the CPU.
With screw drivers and so... Ayah can't resolve it yet.
Damn it! I wished I did not know about that!

I don't wanna get cramped in LRT again.
So I decided to take Metro bus from Sogo. The bus was late.
The journey home took me more than 2 hours.
Because there's an accident infront of my kiddie school.
And I had to walk home from the Simpang Jabina caused the road was under maintenance.

So tiring!

I got home and saw the barai CPU. Taking deep breath, I still need to punish the kids.
And Isha was sulking. Akim too.
I cried, tersangat geram. Partly I knew that I was releasing my tense on them.
Isha packed her stuffs. Wanna go home.
Akim waited for Umi unpatiently. Restless.

Yet, Isha stories revealing the so-called UNSETTLED PROJECT put me in big smile.
Eventhough the day was miserable,
but it ended up with one cute parrot entertaining my heart, everyone's heart.


That is why I love kids! How I wish to have my own child at home!

It's Reaching The End

She's back to work. Finally.
Thanks God.

Eventhough this will keep me apart from him,
but I do very thankful as I no need to feel unsecured,
and unconsciously develop my feelings on him.




This is great. Thank pal for coming back to work.
At least you save your half-life by working with us, again.



It's Allah faith. He knows the best for me, for everyone of us.

Crap Cramp

It's school holidays.
I reached at the train station about to 8o'clock.
The queue was okay. So I just queuing up the line.
It took me 300mins to get into a train! And it was all cramped.
I stood up facing the glass door. Easier to escape when am reached my station.
Gotch, it was just at Wangsa Maju.
I can't even had space to move. My space was only for me, and my big handbag, and my plastic bag.
Suddenly a makcik struggled to push herself in.
Gotch, now am already stucked.

The train has changed to a tin of sardine look.
It was so cramp. Crap cramping hours!
Finally I reacehed Masjid Jamek.
Imagining a long path to get the Star. I must be all sweating!

Oh, luckily I was. The renovation was all done. The escalator is moving back to get me upwards.
And... waaahhhhhh it is so nice. It looks greater than previously was.
Better look for a transit centre.

Malaysia is so much developed, compared to those old days.




Only that, Malaysia is just too cramped.
Cramp with crap stuffs. Cars, foreign workers....





Foreign workers??? Oh now I have to get back to work!
Shut the keyboard up!

Next station... Hiroshima!

I've been busy recently. Am not sure what has tighten my time, but I guess I am almost fully occupied with loads of works and plans and schedules and and and, end. Passt weekends, I've been busy going up-and-down from Selayang-Kajang-Aampang-Maluri. The family needed me so much. As the one being single, and able to please myself to pleased everyone, I kept them accompanied. Adik was warded for asthma, it tooks 5days long. While Ayah was in Kedah and Mama was all alone. Ampa was on duty, and Abang was always busy. So am the one whom were free to replace everyone else. I suggest, it's PAYBACK time. I've neglected family too much, maybe.

Last week, I already short of money. Plus, I didnt miss my lunch since new officemate came in, Yatie. Accompanying her taking lunch, dragged me to spend more this month. Damn it! That's why people always say; Keep your body fit will also keep you pocket full. Absolutely, CORRECT! What past is past. I've now to really kais pagi makan pagi laa nampaknye!

Next station, Hiroshima!


Hah? I can't keep myself shut every moment I remember the phrases. Next station, Hongkong.


Hiroshima to Hongkong??? Ahahahhahaha... I bet Beauty Bell must be loudly laughing at me. We were on monorel to Bukit Bintang this evening. Since Makteh is taking Isha and Hakim to her mate's wedding, so I took sometimes for myself plus, sending Bell half-way home. After taking U1 Rapidbus to Titiwangsa, we hopped in a monorel. From station to another, suddenly I heard it announced ''Next station, Hiroshima." What??? Hiroshima?? I turned to Bell. She laughed at me. It's Raja Chulan, Babe. Muahahahahha. Ade ke patut aku bleh dengar Hiroshima????? We were actually heading to Bukit Bintang. It wasnt really a shopping for any of both of us, yet... for Nick, my Sayang. That's what he claimed himself at me! Yesterday, I took the bagpack I bought from a guy through this mudah.com.my. It only cost me RM40 for a medium size, cute looking bagpack for my lappie. He tested it on. And to be frankly speaking, he looked great. :D He ordered me one. OMG. Abang also ordered one from me.

But....... I bought for my Sayang first, since he paid the cost already. He must be really looking forward to have it on to Immigration. Maybe, he's thinking that he may look greater with the bag on him... Maybe he does :p~ So, I made a point to BB for buying his order. Short window shopping, we found one. Nice, and I love it so much. Not so trendy, as my common eye-taste, and not so bulky. Maybe, it'll just fine for him. A SBPRC from House of Leather boutique, cost me RM70. Huauhauhauahuahau soooooo happy. Finally I got it!

Having KFC with Bell, I suddenly thought of uncomfy feelings. What will the fiance say about me buying him the bag? What if the rest of the office never know that he was actually paying me? What will others think?? Ohhhhh damn it! I started to worry about Tina. Glups..... Chit-chatting from topics to another, Bell's short sentence keep me trapped in..

Taste ko memang cino-cino ne laa Babe.

Rewinding my life tape.... I started to watch Chinese dramas and movies since small. I am really into it. But I never understand what they say, if without text subtitles. Year goes, I signed up with MMU yearbook club because of a senior named, Ah Keat. Then aaaaaalllll my eye-attracted were Chinese-looking. In Kajang old days, I stucked with Gong-Yoo, a Korean hero that looks so typical to my taste. Then came in a Taiwanese guy, Lee Wei. Started to work with UMS... I even dragged with lots more Chinese. After all, I love seeing them. Not all of them, maybe some may count. Anson Gee, Ben Wong,Mr Teh... err who else.. hahahahaha but this one may get me stucked most of the times, Nick Chang.

Huh! Critical huh! No wonder Babe a.k.a Beauty Bella is giving me a new Chinese name.... CINDY CHANG!










Tapi teringat pulak kekata Mama. Hish, berish ***. Makan ***. Semayang, budaya.... Susah! Plus lagi, aku ne memang kaki skendel je. Suke-suke Cino pun, tak pernah plak aku dapat pakwe cino ke macam cino ke. Saje je gatey!




Eh tepon ne bunyik plok. Later then~ Daaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Ceritera DENTIST

Still remember on my stories about toothache?

Finally, I met the dentist afetr an appointment set up before raya. The morning was so dup..dap..dup..dap. I woke up and got dressed. Refused to take breakfast as to keep my mouth clean. Hahahaha... We went to a govt clinic. I remember... I've been here seeing Doc Lalita once upon a time. My gotch!!! The treatment was so rude.... and I remember crying for 45-mins long! And today, I am here again.

After short registration, I waited for about 15mins after Mama. Mama was checking on her dentures. She was all fine. Cik Musfirah... called the nurse. My heart beat was going so fast. iDup dap dup dap.... I sat and wear the 'light-glasses'. Improved... atleast I don't have to stare at the bright light direct to my eyes. And the dentist started to korek-gali-cungkil-tekan-kikis my teeth. I went to X-Ray room. OMG! My teeth conditions must be so poor. I came back and the Doc asked, Are you scared of seeing dentist? You should.... she continued doing all the korek-gali-cungkil-tekan-kikis works. To believe or not... I did CRIED! It was so damn painful! Eventho I know she was sooooo much softer then Dentist lalita... but the pain is always be your partner in mouth operation.

Wanna look great with perfect smile?? That is what you have to go thorugh if you get bad oral hygiene liked mine. Everytime I kumur-kumur, all was blooded. Gotch!!!! And she voiced again;

This is temporary filing. You still need to come.
OMG!
The other one, you have to options. 1. To do bla bla bla (dental treatments stories), till 6 appointments. Or otherwise, just CABUT the teeth and that's it. Do you have time for all the appts???
Of course I'll say 100% yes to the time!! To CABUT GIGI again???????????? Never!








But after arriving office... I re-thinked of her says....

















Am I so BRAVE to see her and STRONG to let her 'PLAY' with my mouth again and again and again!!!!!!!!!!








My advice is only one...
GO TO SEE DENTIST NOW if you have'nt for long before it get worst!

We're Matched!

I've been wanting to blog this recent days. Yet loads of works on my desk wasnt just keeping me away from blogging... also to internet stuffs. Huh! How frustrating it is. Boss just installed 4 CCTV cameras in d office. Poor us! No more petty visiting the society, no more Yahooing, no more... no more.... WILL IT BE A LONG NO MORE????? I never think so. How could we pretend to work all d time and yet we're not. Watever! I was browsing the net. Found this site gathering all infos about bloggers. And to my happiness, found many fashion and trends pages. It kept me window shopping for quite sometimes. Huhuhu. I was attracted to this page.. I forgot to favorite the page... someone's selling handmade cards. Various designs, for multi events. Very cute, and soo nice. Oh i just love them very much. How I wish that I could do the same thing and make money of it?! Hurms......
Working hours is became a normal routine, AGAIN. Waking up at 6.30 morning, doing simple house cleaning... taking my bath in the cold-killing water, picking up clothes out from the closet one-to-another... drawing on some make ups... waiting for the bus.. hop into the LRT train, 10-mins walking to the office... opsss topping by the Ambank for FREE breakfast, hahahaha... work. Work. Work. And lunch. And pack home. And reached home. And finally bed. And........... again repeat all the same routines everyday except for Sundays. The only day in calendar that reserve me one-self-day.

Oh....................... I am so sleepy. Going to have a quick-bath and to bed time! Nite everyone.....