" . "

i feel like ~!@#$%^&*()_+|+_)(*&^%$#@!~
i have alot to share. i have alot to write. i have alot in mind.
but i cannot say to share. i do not know what to write.
and all these things keep playing, and puzzling, and messing my head.

i hate to say that i love him. what more to say, i have hated him.
i hate to say i do not believe in him. because if people ask me, than i do.
but i would prefer to say...
i am finding a FULLSTOP in this relationship.

i hate to say i do not bother not having a job.
because all i have been thinking about is finding a job.
i hate to say that i need money. but the fact is, i really do.

i almost caught to a dead end.

my head is banging onto the wall, again and again.
am liked shooting the m16 to myself over and over again.
i hate to say that;

i hate myself for the meantime.


F U * K !